I am excited to have my wife Jenna as a guest on the blog today. I wrote a blog to men on how to make your wife fall in love with you daily. Today this is my wife’s challenge to women on “10 Ways to Capture Your Husband’s Heart Daily!”
After seeing the popularity of my husband’s post “10 Ways to Make Your Wife Fall in Love with You Daily”, (check it out here http://nathanlorick.com/10-ways-to-make-your-wife-fall-in-love-with-you-daily/) I thought it might be fun to write a post for us wives on how to capture our husband’s hearts daily! Like my hubby stated in his blog, we are by no means experts! We are both sinners saved by grace who simply love being married to one another! My list is full of things I strive to do, not things I get right everyday! And since I am a women, mine is slightly more wordy than my hubby’s! So here is my list…
- Pray for your man daily. This may sound simple and you may be tempted to skim over this one but this is SO important. Thank God for your man, for who he is, and the gift he is to you. And ladies, let’s be careful to actually pray for him and not about what we want him to become or how he could be a better husband. If we are faithful to pray for his holiness instead of our happiness I believe we would see a great change in our marriages!
Here is a great example of how to pray specifically for your husband from head to toe:
This calendar is another great way to pray specifically for your husband each day:
And if by chance your hubby is not into all of this praying stuff…just keep praying.
- Find out what your guys love language is and speak it often! There are said to be 5 languages of love…physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, and quality time. (www.5lovelanguages.com) Take time to ask your hubby how he feels loved and then show him your love in that way. Often time’s opposites attract and we will not have the same love language as our spouse. The hardest part of all of this is realizing that your man may not feel loved just because you cleaned the kitchen and did all the laundry…sure you would feel totally loved and on cloud nine if he did that for you, but that is because YOUR love language is acts of service…not his. Be thoughtful about finding ways to show your love in a way that matters to him.
- Let him know that you desire him. All men have a need to know that they are wanted. Let your hubby know that you desire to be with him, to spend time with him, and to be loved by him. Our men have a need for intimacy but they are not looking for us to just meet their need. The fulfillment of intimacy comes in knowing that we desire them just as much as they desire us. And remember our men like romance just as much as we do! Plan a surprise date with him or make arrangements to spend a weekend away with him.
- Say “no” to the kiddos sometimes. I am a mom to four kiddos. I know that life is crazy and hectic and it can be so difficult to carve out time just to talk with your husband about his day. It seems like the kiddos always need you and there is always something that needs to get done. I want to encourage you to tell the kiddos no for at least a few minutes each day and give your undivided attention to your man. These days that looks like going into the bedroom and shutting the door while we spend a few minutes talking and reconnecting when my hubby gets home. When our kiddos were younger and needed constant supervision we would sometimes load them in the car, turn on a DVD, and drive around while we just spent some time talking. This also means that we put our kids to bed at a reasonable hour so that we can spend the evenings together. My man and I have had so much fun having movie nights, or playing games, or even watching silly you tube videos together after our kiddos are asleep. This summer it also meant that I had to get over my fear of leaving our newly adopted daughter with someone other than me. I could sense that our marriage was in need of some refreshing and time away so I entrusted my sister-in-law with our kiddos so that I could join my guy on a business trip to the beach. It is amazing what some time walking hand in hand on the beach can do for your marriage!
- Have fun together. My husband has watched countless chic-flicks with me in the name of fun! He has been to outlet malls, flea markets, and craft shows…all things I consider fun! They may not be the things he would choose but he goes because we love to have fun together. This year I donned some camo and got up WAY too early to experience some of what he considers fun…turkey hunting. We recently when parasailing together…talk about fun! It may mean you need to learn about football (preaching to the choir here), or buy some camo, or put on some running shoes, or even learn how to play the PS3…whatever it is find a way to have fun with your man!
- Be a wife he is happy to come home to. “Let the wife make her husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave” Martin Luther. I don’t know about your home but at mine it seems like my husband always gets home around what I like to call “the witching hour”…all of my sweet kiddos have suddenly turned into little goblins who are whining and complaining about homework. Big brothers are hitting little brothers who are calling them names and baby sister has dumped over a drink for the 3rd time today. All the while I am trying to make dinner and answer everyone’s homework questions. And in walks my hubby. It is tempting every day just to look at him and say “your turn” and walk out. Or what happens most often is that I take out my frustration on him. He has literally just walked in the door and I am already telling him what he did wrong or why I am mad at him or what I need him to do. This is not ok. This does not make me a wife he longs to come home to. Instead my goal should be to meet him at the door and even though I may be totally frustrated and overwhelmed I want to let him know that I am happy and excited that he is home and thankful for how hard he works. There will be time later to discuss any frustrations we have with each other or things we need each other to get done. Ladies, let’s do our best to make our husbands want to say…there’s no place like home!
- Bless him with some time to do what he loves. There are 3 things my man loves with a passion…preaching The Word, hunting any kind of wild animal, and college football. I love knowing that I can bless him and refresh his heart by giving him time to do these things. And that means without nagging or making him feel guilty about it girls! My hubby has a crazy work schedule and works harder than most people I know. He has little free time. I know that being able to preach The Word brings him such joy. So when he was given the opportunity to be an interim pastor I was thrilled for him and encouraged him to go for it. That means flying out every Saturday night. That also means most Sunday’s I am getting 4 kiddos ready for church on my own. While it may seem crazy to others, I love that my hubby is getting to do something that he loves! It may take so sacrificing on your part but carve out some time for him to do things that he loves. There is such joy in watching your man enjoy something!
- Respect him. Unfortunately this is a topic most of us women would like to avoid. In a culture of equality and women’s liberation it is easy to forget that God placed our husbands as our leaders and he expects us to respect them in that way. God did not ask us to become door mats but he did indeed ask us to follow our mates. For this girl who “didn’t sign up to be a pastor’s wife” it meant putting my fears and arguments to the side while lovingly and supportively following my man to our first church. I love that Sharon Jaynes’ book “Becoming the Woman of His Dreams” says “power always follows obedience”. Be obedient to respect your husband and the Lord will give you the power to do it. As women we tend to think we know it all…we know how to do everything right and if they would just listen to us everything would be better. Resist that urge and give your husband the room to lead and then follow him respectfully…you may just be surprised at what God does!
- Dream with him. I am by no means a risk taker. And as the Lord would have it I married a crazy risk taker! My man has big dreams…dreams that sometimes scare me and make me nervous! To be honest I spent the first years of our marriage so scared of risk and dreaming big that I really stifled my husband. God has been so gracious over the last several years to take my fears and replace them with faith as I dream big with my husband. For us this meant adopting a baby girl from Uganda which now has lead to our family being part of building a children’s home in Malawi. God has done amazing and incredible things in our marriage since I finally traded in my fears and began dreaming with my man.
- Tell it to him. Don’t just assume your hubby knows that you love him! Tell each and every day that you love him and not just when you are hanging up the phone! Send him a text or an email. Write a note on your bathroom mirror or slip something in his brief case. Take a moment each day to tell him how much you love him, why you love him, and how thankful you are for him!
Now let’s go out and love our husbands well!